Welcome Aikido,
Good post. I can see many examples where this would make sense.
This board for example. There has been several threads about people replying to posts and what makes one more popular then another. Why some people can say something from the heart and get almost no replys and others can cry about a hang nail and get 3 pages of sympathy (total exaggeration on my part, kinda) but it feels like a rejection and painful to the one getting no responses to their pain.
I worked for a man once who showed an example of this. He lived with a girl who was pretty, sweet, loving and young. Her father was a deacon of the church and she was totally going against what she believed to be with this guy (she could have done much better). She wanted to be married and have children, she would make a wonderful wife and mother. After years of living together and her wanting a commitment from him (so she could have children) and giving him a deadline she left him to pursue her dream of marriage.
My boss had a problem with commitment to anything. It took him a year to buy a pair of boots. He had to research the performance, R factor etc. of many boots to find the perfect pair. Took him months to research and buy a truck. I'm sure he was applying the same principles to finding a wife. I think it came down to not wanting to fail at what he decided, his decision had to be the perfect one.
He (and everyone around him) was in total hell for a year while he tried to prove he was mister wonderful to get her back. He was a mess emotionally and physically. He didn't want her, he had never said anything nice about her, didn't act like he loved her...............until SHE rejected him. He didn't want her or kids (he said he was afraid there might be something wrong with them) but the rejection by her was too much for him to bare. He would sit in a corner and rock, he would cry, he would talk to total strangers in a store about his sorry love life. He was useless for one year. He finally got her back and instantly started treating her like crap again. She had dreamed of a nice wedding she settled for a quicky wedding and a small reception of family. Last I heard they still had no kids (9 years later).
Of course we also have the shunning of witness family and friends. This is the theory behind that..............